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Swingers, pineapples and branding – Is your pineapple upside down?

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October 17, 2019
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October 21, 2019

You know those friends of yours that always talk about the weirdest crap?
Like the ones who are always going on about conspiracy theories or asking questions like “Do you think dogs bark in different accents?”.
Ja… those ones. 
Those are my favourite friends.

So, this weekend, I was chatting to a few of “those” friends… 
Most of the time, these weird topics get fired out of nowhere, so I didn’t even question how our conversation got onto the topic of pineapples.
It stayed innocently on pineapples for about two minutes before someone somehow associated swingers with this.

Yes. Swingers!

Like wife-swap, but sexual (this was honestly the best way I can describe it as I really don’t know much about how swinging really works).
Basically, what was said is that “apparently”, an international signal to meet other swingers is to place a pineapple, upside-down, in your shopping trolley, at the grocery store.

This is like the Bat Signal of swingers. 
Having no idea if this is really true or not, I walked past the pineapples in my local Spar today. 
My giggles were triggered by a single upside-down pineapple placed, front and center, on the pineapple shelf.

Mind-fuckery mode was now activated…

Just below the whole pineapples was a shelf of trimmed pineapples (the top leaves were cut off, so you couldn’t tell which side was up or down).Next thing I know, I’m entertaining myself by flipping these trimmed pineapples up and down in my shopping basket, every time I walk past someone.
Admittedly, it was entertaining for nobody but myself.

All I was thinking was “If there are swingers looking for upside-down pineapples, this is going to confuse the shit out of them!”, and I thought that was hilarious!

While confusing swinging grocery shoppers might be funny, confusing your potential customers is not.

Is your pineapple the right way up, upside-down, or are you some clown, walking around the online grocery store confusing the crap out of your audience with a trimmed pineapple?

This is branding.

You’re either a swinger or you’re not.
Either way, your message should be clear. 
If you are continuously flipping a trimmed pineapple in your basket, the swingers are going to be too scared to approach you in case you aren’t a swinger and the non-swingers are going to be too scared to approach you in case you are.

Are you using your brand to make your message clear?

If not, you are literally scaring away potential customers!
So, I’ve got a FREE Un-Suck your Branding guide for you.
It will help you define your brand and stop flipping the pineapple in front of potential customers.

If you want to squeeze even more juicy info from my brain AND the brains of a bunch of other fierce business owners, you should totally join my new Facebook group, Badass Bosses Support Group
Not only are there a butt-ton of juicy tips on this group, but it’s a great place to learn and interact with a bunch of other badasses on the same journey as you.

Interweb gangster sent to earth to un-suck brands online and make the internet her bitch.