What to post on Facebook – You are not boring!

You are not boring!

With a big focus on my Facebook Marketing Master Class, I’ve been on a war path lately, trying to get my clients to stop selling on Facebook and start telling stories.
That’s how you build a loyal following.

Your followers don’t care about the specs of your new product.

They want to hear how your bitch neighbor, Susan, lit a steaming bag of dog poop on your stoep because you wouldn’t turn down the Hardwell remix that was playing to keep your creative juices flowing, while you were designing it.

In a consultation with a client this morning, my client shot this one at me:

“But STOOOOOOOORRRRRMMMMMM!!!! You travel and get to experience all these interesting things. I’m in an office all day. I have no stories to tell…”

Obviously, I called bullshit.
You know who else was stuck in an office all day?

The ENTIRE cast of The Office!!!!

The Office ran for 9 seasons, or 201 30-minute episodes.
That’s a lot of stories.
Guess where the Office takes place?
A thuddingly dull office park.

Wherever you are, you’re surrounded by stories. Even if you don’t leave the house.

What makes for a story?

Some kind of conflict — between people (fight, disagreement), between expectation and outcome (surprise), between what we know and what we want to know (curiosity, mystery).

I’ll make up some examples…

Two people wanting opposite things:

  • For instance, one soccer mom wants all the kids to get trophies.
    The other soccer mom wants only her kid, who’s a star athlete, to get a trophy.

Two or more people wanting the same thing:

  • Think of the stories that go down at doorbusters on Black Friday! Some come out of Game stores with flatscreens, some with gushing head wounds, and resulting brain damage. Some with both!
  • Think of when your boyfriend says marshmallows have a high fat content and you say they have zero fat, and it turns into a huge blowup where he even refuses to look at the google answer on your phone. You both want the same thing: to be right!

One person wanting something, but there’s an obstacle:

  • That time you wanted to go to sleep at the sleepover, but everyone else wanted to stay up talking and playing with the damn ouija board, which you knew was BS but whatever.


  • When your computer freezes and you google Apple support, call the number at the top, have the guy walk you through a whole cleanup of your mac, give him your credit card number to finish because it turns out you don’t have AppleCare, and then you realize you didn’t call Apple, you called some sketchy guy who paid for the top sponsored listing on google, which, in your panic, looked legit.


  • You saw your best friend’s husband making out with the waitress at Spur. But if you tell your friend, she’ll probably stop being friends with you and keep her husband. Do you tell?


  • Who keeps stealing your morning paper? WTF?

You get my drift. None of these things require a big-city setting or a glamorous or crazy life.

It doesn’t even have to be people. You can have conflict between two raccoons, or between a house that wants to remain standing and a sinkhole that has other ideas.

Know what? It doesn’t have to be about you, either. You think you’re boring? OK. But you can observe and report interesting things.

Life is full of stories, no matter where you live.

Even if you don’t leave the house…

ps – If you can leave the house, I recommend that you do. At least once a week. Get out there!

pps – Also recommend taking out your earbuds once in a while. That’s how often I do it. Eavesdropping (the best source of stories) is way more effective when you can hear.

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